Starting a family conversation about money and plans for the future
Learn how to approach early discussions about passing on wealth while navigating emotions and family dynamics.
Oct. 04, 2024
5-minute read
Talking about what you’ll leave behind and how your money and possessions will be shared can bring up a lot of emotions. It's natural to feel awkward or uncomfortable, but these feelings are a sign of the deep importance of the topic. Whether it’s discussing your wishes for the future, starting a will or simply making sure everyone is on the same page, these conversations are key to ensuring your plans are understood and followed smoothly while also keeping family relationships strong.
Taking the time to have these discussions early on, setting clear expectations and fostering open communication can bring your family closer together. Families that have navigated these challenges successfully often hold regular meetings to openly discuss these topics. These meetings help ensure that everyone stays aligned and that any potential issues are addressed before they become bigger problems.
Facing the emotions behind money talks
Discussions about money and family dynamics can be challenging, because they often touch on deeply personal feelings. The thought of talking about what will happen after you're gone or how to divide your assets can bring up discomfort or even fear. But acknowledging these emotions is the first step toward having meaningful conversations.
It's important to remember that these discussions are not just about finances — they're about preserving family harmony and ensuring that everyone feels included and heard. Successful families understand that effective communication and emotional openness are key to maintaining strong bonds and ensuring that everyone is on the same page. By approaching these topics with empathy and openness, you can turn what might be an awkward conversation into an opportunity for deeper connection and understanding within your family.
Making family meetings work for you
One way successful families manage these conversations is by incorporating regular family meetings into their routine. Success, in this context, is about fostering trust, ensuring everyone has a voice and making sure plans are clearly communicated and understood by all family members.
To help start these conversations, consider asking open-ended questions that allow for reflection and discussion. Questions like, "What are your hopes for the future?" or "How do you envision our family's legacy?" can open the door to more meaningful discussions that go beyond just the financial details.
Getting comfortable with the basics
If you’re new to discussing inheritance and wealth transfer, start with the basics. When sharing estate plans with your family, it may be helpful to start with concepts rather than specific amounts or items. Begin by explaining why these conversations are important and what you hope to achieve. This might include:
- Discussing your wishes – Letting your family know your thoughts on how what you’ve built should be shared and any specific wishes you have for the future.
- Starting the will process – Making sure you have a will in place and that your family knows what’s in it.
- Talking about the future – Discussing broader plans for your savings and possessions, including how you want your assets to support your family’s needs and goals in the years ahead.
Bridging generational gaps
Different generations within a family might have different views on money, what to do with it and how savings and possessions should be shared. Older family members might be concerned about maintaining family traditions or ensuring that their savings are managed responsibly, while younger members might be focused on financial independence or pursuing their own goals.
Successful families navigate these generational differences by fostering open dialogue and mutual respect. They understand that every family member’s perspective is valuable and that finding common ground is essential for maintaining harmony and achieving long-term goals.
To bridge these gaps, it’s important to approach these conversations with empathy and an open mind. Consider:
- Listening to each other’s perspectives – Make sure everyone has a chance to share their views and concerns.
- Finding common ground – Look for areas where your goals and values align, and build on those shared principles.
- Creating an agenda – Establish a simple agenda for your discussions to help keep the conversation focused and productive.
Simplifying decision-making
Decision-making can be a complex process, especially when it involves multiple family members and the distribution of what you’ll leave behind. Successful families simplify this process by clarifying roles and setting clear expectations about who will be involved in making decisions and how those decisions will be made.
To simplify decision-making:
- Clarify roles – Identify who will provide input and who will make the final decisions.
- Set expectations – Make sure everyone understands their role and what’s expected of them.
- Keep it simple – Focus on the most important decisions first, and tackle them one step at a time.
Starting conversations about what you’ll leave behind and how your money and possessions will be shared doesn’t have to be a burden. By taking the time to talk with your family early on, setting clear expectations and fostering open communication, you can ensure that these discussions bring your family closer together. Successful families know that these conversations, while challenging, are essential to building a strong, connected family that’s ready to face the future with confidence.
Get help creating the life you want
Our advisors can put together a personalized plan to help you meet your financial goals so you can do what you love.