Supporting a loved one living with dementia

Tracey’s advice is to be as proactive as possible. She explains, “by taking a proactive approach, you can include the senior adult in the decision-making process and get their input on how they would like things to be handled going forward. Just because there is a mental decline doesn't mean they want to give up their independence.” The best way you can do this for them is by getting ahead of dementia and making a plan as early as possible.

Tip #1: Watch for signs of cognitive decline Opens in a new window.

Those actually experiencing them may not recognize the changes and therefore may not want to take action. By watching for and recognizing the signs, you can be an advocate.

Advisors may also be part of the first line of defense and may be among the first to notice signs of cognitive decline in the senior adult. They can work with you to help you take appropriate steps to safeguard the senior adult’s estate and finances. “It is critically important that key supporters of the senior adult have a relationship with the senior adult’s advisor,” advises Austin. Ask the senior adult for permission before speaking with their advisor.

Tip #2: Gather all important documents and store them securely

It’s important to gather important information early on, if you can, so you can get a sense of the senior adult’s assets, like investments, real estate and pensions. Ask about important documents like a will, power of attorney (POA) for financial decisions and a power of attorney for personal care (POAPC). Know where the documents are located. Also make a list of the professionals they used, like doctors, lawyers, accountants and advisors, and their contact information. Ask the senior adult for permission to speak with them about the senior adult and their affairs.

Tip #3: Understand their wishes and have a plan to implement them

Ask the senior adult to show you their documents or let you read them. “It helps to have a sense of the specific terms within their documents, so you know what's set out in them,” notes Tracey. Being familiar with the terms beforehand means there are no surprises later when they need to be used.

The specific terms may also include how they wish to live out their later years, like a specific care facility they want to be in, or certain family traditions they want upheld. Knowing these terms beforehand can help you plan and make arrangements for them.

The key here is not to go in and take over for them, but, rather, to “help provide some oversight and understand the types of decisions you have the flexibility to make,” advises Tracey.

Tip #1: Ensure their safety

Consider if you need to appoint or hire someone to check in on them at home or be with them full-time. Also assess if the home and immediate surroundings need other safety measures in place. You can even look into food delivery services so they can have hot meals made for them daily. Also consider if someone should be appointed to ensure your loved one is taking their medication.

Tip #2: Check that their day-to-day finances are being managed

You’ll want to know their bills are getting paid and their investments are being properly managed. Determine who has been appointed in the POA. Have that person, or you, if it’s you, connect with their advisor so you can understand the full scope of what they have and how it’s being taken care of.

Austin recommends you also check on their financial security for signs of elder abuse Opens in a new window.. Elder abuse can come in the form of financial abuse or emotional abuse. Signs include a rapid decline of their bank account holdings, unusual spending patterns, a withdrawn personality unlike their usual or the inability to make decisions or attend meetings on their own. Advisors are often on the lookout for these signs and may be able to help you recognize and remedy them. For more information on elder abuse, including resources and a 24/7 hotline, visit Elder Abuse Prevention Opens in a new window..

Tip #3: Locate and collect all important documents they have in place

This could include a will, POA for financial decisions and a POAPC. Review the terms of the documents to determine who can legally make decisions on the senior adult’s behalf if necessary. You may also want to contact their lawyer, advisor or other professionals they’ve worked with if further action is required. “It’s also important to make copies of all important documents and store them in a secure location determined by the senior adult and the family,” advises Austin.

Supporting a senior adult living with dementia can be a job in itself, requiring time, energy and sometimes even financial support. In order to maintain the level of care you want to give, it’s also important to be aware of your own needs, too. “Don’t be afraid to ask for help, whether that be assistance with the day-to-day activities or emotional support for yourself. The Alzheimer Society of Canada Opens in a new window. has lots of good resources that can help you find the right support for yourself and the senior adult,” recommends Tracey.

Financial support may also be available to you if you require. For credits offered across Canada and information on what’s available in your specific province, visit benefits for caregivers Opens in a new window..

Finally, consider finding a professional who can help you navigate this time. That may be an elder consultant, advisor or other professional who understands the support and benefits systems in place.

As you go through this process with the senior adult, you may also start to think about your own plans for the future. As you’ve likely learned through this process, having a plan in place makes all the difference. So take the time to make or update your own plan, consult with your advisor or team of professionals and communicate your plans to your loved ones.